July 13, 2019

*beep beep beep*

After a long weekend of coaching, it’s 6 a.m. on a Monday and my alarm’s going off. The room is starting to brighten from the rising sun. I look over to see my son, asleep, paci half-hanging out of his mouth, snug in his mother’s arms. Unfortunately, we have to be at work in 30 minutes. By we, I mean DJ and me.

Let me rewind. My name is Dalante Dunklin. I’m an ex-pro basketball player. I spent time in Italy, Mexico, and Germany before my son came into the world on September 28, 2018. I was partially on the fence on whether I’d go back overseas and play while my wife and son stayed in America, or if I’d uproot my whole family to come with me while I played.

I wasn’t on the fence for long.

The first thing I said to myself when my son was born was: “I’m not leaving my son.” And I couldn’t ask my wife to leave her job. She’d worked so hard to start a career, getting her degree from a great school like LMU. I, on the other hand, don’t have a degree at all.

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I knew the sacrifices she’d already made. It was my turn.

I’d give up playing the sport that showed me so much love, stay home, keep my part-time coaching job and become a trainer.

*beep beep beep*

There goes that alarm again. As I wake up and begin getting my three-month old son ready to go to our first training of the day, I can’t help but feel blessed. How many parents, let alone fathers get this opportunity to take their child to work with them?

It’s not just work either.

Monday through Friday while my wife works, I have the privilege of having my son with me from 6:30 a.m. until about 5 p.m. Then my wife comes to my job and picks him up. Every day is a little different; we only have to be up at 6 a.m. Mondays and Thursdays for a morning session, then back to the gym at 3 p.m. Some days DJ likes to sleep until 11 a.m. Other times he likes to be up to kiss his mom goodbye. Either way, it gives us a lot of time to get acquainted with one another.

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More often than not, it’s hard.

Some days, he doesn’t want to nap. I rarely get time to myself. Definitely no such thing as using the bathroom, showering, or eating a hot meal in peace. Coffee is now my drink of preference. But my experience as an athlete taught me that the hardest training brings out the best results. As a father, I’ve adopted the approach that although it’s hard, I know that something special will come of it. The countless diaper changes, the tantrums, the feeding schedule — they’re all things I look forward to because he’s the greatest blessing I’ve ever received.

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The best part of our day is when I take him to the gym in the afternoon. To see the joy basketball already brings him brings me happiness. I won’t pressure DJ to play, but I know it will always be an important part of our lives. Basketball brought me to my wife, which ultimately brought me to him. It’s more than just a game to me. It’s our connector. The time we spend has given us an unbreakable bond. He’s my best friend. He’s my peace. (And my headache.) He’s brought purpose and direction to my life. He’s my heart, my soul, my everything.

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Not many fathers get this opportunity that I have. Roles are usually reversed. I embrace the chance to be a father, the chance to be with my son all day, every day — to watch him grow in front of my eyes. I’m in awe of the blessing that he is.

Dalante Dunklin is a former professional basketball player who now coaches for the AAU travel team Dream Vision Basketball.

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