May 21, 2020

Raising a bi-racial baby, in an interracial relationship is something that many people understand when they see it these days...


I mean, you turn on the television and the Kardashians make mixed babies look like top of the line fashion! And let’s not forget about the first little, beautiful bi-racial baby to be born into the royal family.

To me, these interracial examples that come from famous families, and my interracial family isn’t driven by color, but is driven through love.

The way I see it is simple.

My son is ½ of me and ½ of the person I love.

How others choose to see it, well that’s on them. I know they might see that my baby boy is ½ white and ½ African American. And while that’s true, that’s just a surface level observation.

During my pregnancy journey, I constantly remember hearing, “OMG, he's going to be the cutest little mixed child!” Or the line, “Mixed babies are always so much cuter.” Let me not forget the phrase, “Wow! He's going to have the best tan in the summer!”

I didn’t disagree with them, and usually, I would just laugh and nod. I consciously agreed because obviously, our baby was going to be cute, but not because he was mixed. Him being mixed had nothing to do with his “cuteness” in my eyes. A cute baby should not be predicted, when in the womb, when it's delivered because of his or her cultural identity. I mean seriously, let's be honest, any baby paired with chunky thighs and a cute gummy smile are just too adorable. The culture they come from or the color of their skin should play no role in that.

Bare with me as I switch gears and get real for a second, for the simple fact that this blog has taken me way too long to complete. I have gone back and forth in my head. Editing it nearly 100 times. Not because I don’t know what to say. But more of the face on how to say it.

Here it goes...

I’m not color blind.

Just because I’m white does not mean that I don’t experience or see racism. I have been dating the love of my life for a few years now. I have experienced things I never thought I would.

For example, if you told me when I was a young girl growing up, that when I finally started my family, my heart would stop every time the love of my life would call me when he got pulled over. Or that when I held his hand, in a store, that I would get dirty looks, not just from one person, but from multiple people. For the simple fact that I’m the only white lady in the store, holding a black man’s hand. I wouldn’t believe you about either occasion.

I guess the young me would be proven wrong.

As a mother, and kindergarten teacher, I know that it’s my duty to share the current events and history of all cultures to my child(ren). I also know how it feels to be judged for something that you can’t control.

I get it, we live in a world that strives to see all people as equal or the same, but quite frankly, our world is simply just not there yet.

It’s no secret.

I also understand that my journey and experiences growing up, as well as my fiance’s, might be completely different than the ones of my son. Although it's not a pleasant thought, as parents, we will never know what kind of evil our child might come in contact with.

This might be the scariest thing to think of when raising a child, yet as a mother, I also have a few wishes for my beautiful little boy. I hope that my baby understands that he is a mixture of love first, THAN color. I know that one day my son may point out the fact that he isn’t the same color as his mother or as his father. And although that day may come,

I hope he also understands that he gets to celebrate two cultures in one body. Realizing how lucky he is for that!

I know that, as he grows up, he will understand what real love looks like because he will have seen love in all shapes, sizes, and colors. He will see his Nana & Papa share love, he will see his Grammy & Grampy share love. And even though those two physically look different, the love is exactly the same.

My greatest desire is that my child will look in the mirror and see his daddy’s features embedded within his lighter skin and smile with pride and strength. No matter if you’re a mother or father, any parent will understand that all we want is for our child(ren) to have equal opportunities and fulfilling life. Raising a mixed baby doesn’t look much different in terms of raising a baby/child.

Each one comes with their own set of struggles.

Yet through those struggles, I hope, as parents, we as a whole, continue to pray for days where our world is just a big ole planet, that grows from love. Pray for the days where we won’t have to turn on the TV and have to explain to our young and innocent children the unnecessary evil that is going on in this world. Pray for the days where my husband or son can go out for a run and I don’t have to fear that they won’t come back to me.

Until those days come, us mothers, fathers, and caretakers of the world have a responsibility to celebrate our cultures with our children. We must share the stories of struggle, as well as the stories of success. Not only to teach them what life is about but to also demonstrate what the future of our planet can truly look like when it runs on love.


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