Life is Comprised of Moments

On this journey through our time on Earth, we occasionally find ourselves in the midst of special, defining moments that give us new perspective on life. These aren’t the everyday moments, like conversations with a co-worker during a coffee break or jamming out to a favorite playlist on the daily commute to work. I am talking about the “out-of-body” moments — the times when we are courtside spectators, viewing something amazing and profound that’s happening to us.

For most of my life, those moments have come gradually over time. They’ve been rare, like when I played in the Final Four — one of the biggest, most televised sporting events in the world — in front of my friends, family,  and 60, 000 screaming fans. (Yeah, that’s 6’2 me blocking that 6’10 center.  What a time!)

That experience was something else!

But when you have a child, these moments will occur more often than you can imagine. Never planned, never expected, but you’ll know exactly when they are happening.

Without a doubt, your first out-of-body experience of fatherhood is the day you hold your newborn child. But the moments that will really take you to the next level are the ones that come after the first introductions.

As a professional basketball player who plays all around Europe, I don’t get to see my family back in Toronto much throughout the year. The only quality time I get to spend with them is from late June to early August when I travel home for the summer. Once in a while, I’ll see a family member when I am able to fly them to the country that I am playing in that year. These visits are welcome and usually the agenda is the same. I typically pick a family member to come visit my wife and me. We take them sightseeing, they enjoy a game of mine.

They also rave about how life in Europe is so different from Canada and tell me how they cannot wait to come back and visit the following year, wherever we may be. I enjoy every minute of seeing a familiar face and hearing fluent English.  Flying my mother and youngest brother out for a visit this year could have followed a similar script. This year is different, however, because my daughter is with us now.

On April 5, 2019 I lived a cinematic moment that would have been impossible for Disney or Steven Spielberg to recreate. After a convincing win by my team and a stellar personal performance, I walked over to the stands where my wife routinely sits with the other teammates’ wives and girlfriends. Win or lose, after the buzzer sounds at every home game I go over to my wife and give her a kiss. It’s what I’ve done every game since becoming a professional athlete. I do it to show her my appreciation for all her support and to help me relax, slow the adrenaline and my racing heartbeat. But at this particular game, it wasn’t just my wife in the stands.

I looked up to see my daughter and my mother.

What made this moment most special was not just the fact that this was my mother’s first time visiting a country outside of North America. Nor was it because it was the first-ever professional game my mother or my daughter had ever attended. And it wasn’t even that my beautiful wife held it down with our three-week old baby in a loud, packed arena.

It was because for the very first time in my life it really hit me that I was a father, husband, and son all at the same time. By far the most amazing part of all of this was that I was staring at the three girls in my life that allowed it all to be true.

They say your soul falls in love three times in your life. First with your mother, then your wife, and lastly with your daughter. At that very moment, looking at my girls together in the stands, my heart was overwhelmed with happiness, joy, and a sense of accomplishment.

This experience is one that I will remember for my entire life and I can guarantee that it won’t be the last time I’m present for a moment like this. This moment with my mother, wife, and daughter (for the first time) helped me realize that although life as a new dad may be a little stressful, frightening and frustrating at times — maybe all of the above on certain occasions — I know I will find a way through it.  

And so will you.

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