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FATHERHOOD
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$312.67.
That’s how much I spent to get the best news I’ve ever received.
I’m talking about money spent on pregnancy tests from Clearblue, First Response, CVS brand…
My wife tried every test possible to double-check and ensure that the results were for real; test after test, we looked for and saw “pregnant” or two lines filled on the pregnancy stick.
There’s a false stigma about conceiving and the time frame when it happens. A lot of people think you just have unprotected sex and in nine months, you’ll meet your baby. For some women, including my wife, it’s not that easy. Countless doctor visits, medical issues stemming from infertility problems, stomach issues...this list doesn’t even scrape the surface of what some women go through on a daily basis.
When my wife first shared with me her diagnosis of PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), I honestly had no clue what she was talking about. I just figured she could take some Tums or Advil and she’d be good...but a whole new world opened when she shared more details.
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that affects 1 in 10 women of childbearing age. Women with PCOS have a hormonal imbalance and metabolism problems that may affect their overall health and appearance. PCOS is also a common and treatable cause of infertility. (womenshealth.gov)
I didn’t know what to feel or say, but it wasn’t a deal-breaker for me. I knew early on there was a chance that we may not be able to have a kid of our own, and although I wasn’t ecstatic about that, I was okay with it. I kept my faith in God that he knew what was best for us. There was nothing any doctor could say that God couldn’t overrule. On the other hand, I could see that my wife was down about her diagnosis and it killed me to see that. Something that was totally out of her control was now at the forefront of our relationship and suddenly became a weekly discussion.
When do we start trying? Do we seek help? Should we tell family? Do we even put ourselves in the position to risk disappointment if it doesn’t happen?
Those were hard times and hard discussions to have.
PCOS can cause problems during pregnancy for you and for your baby. Women with PCOS have higher rates of:
Your baby also has a higher risk of being heavy (macrosomia) and of spending more time in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). (womenshealth.gov)
If someone asked me for one word to describe my life, I’d say faith. I have it tattooed across my chest. I rarely stress or over-analyze any situation due to the amount of faith I have. I feel like there’s no situation that can’t change as long as I put my faith in God. This situation wasn’t going to be any different.
My next order of business was to get my wife on the faith train with me. Initially, she got on board. But with every “not pregnant” and one-stripe showing on the stick, she’d jump off. She started to blame herself and felt like it was all her fault. I could see her outlook on life growing dim.
On January 27, 2018 that changed. All the ups and downs, arguments, setbacks were all worth it. We found out we were expecting a baby and we couldn’t have been happier.
We couldn’t eat, sleep or drink -- we were on an adrenaline rush. We didn’t know how to feel or act. After so many challenges we were finally, incredibly expecting a baby. We debated who to tell first and how. Would we announce the news before or after the first 12 weeks? So many thoughts and emotions ran through us. We were ready for the baby to be with us already! It wasn’t the easiest of circumstances by any means, but we had God, faith, and each other.
Have faith. Men, know that if you’re in a situation like mine, this isn’t her fault. Be there and be understanding. For the women, know that you aren’t alone; there are other women dealing with PCOS and where there’s a will, there’s a way.
That $312.67 will be worth it.
Watch Now:
The exact moment when Dalante and Alayna welcomed their beautiful baby boy DJ into this world!
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