The Night Shift

Everybody and their mothers’ favorite advice to share with soon-to-be parents is, “Get sleep now, because when your baby comes, you won’t get any at all.”

The early days are the most difficult with a newborn for the simple fact that their bodies have no idea what night and day means. Most, if not all, newborns actually have it totally backwards for the first few weeks of their lives. They tend to sleep all day, and are up to party all night. Initially it’s cute because the new life that you have created is staring at you for hours at a time when you get up to hold them at 3 AM. You forget about your sleep because you are still experiencing the high of being an actual parent. When your lack of sleep finally catches up to you, the novelty wears off. You pray and hope that your newborn somehow snaps into a well-balanced sleep routine that syncs with yours.

Sorry to break it to you, but that’s not gonna happen.

The hardest part of the whole sleep ordeal is creating your newborn’s sleeping pattern. Just trying to put them to bed at a reasonable time during the night doesn’t cut it. You talk to your doctors, midwife, and read countless articles trying to figure out what to do. Or you try and figure out what you are doing wrong.

When they’re crying, it would seem logical that they are hungry or that they need their diaper changed. But there’s a different logic to a crying baby. Their reason for crying may be the simple fact that they have been taken out of the comfortable home that they have been residing in for past ten months (the mother’s womb). You’ll experience many nights in which the mother of your child, exasperated, utters the words, “I’ve tried everything, I just don’t know what’s wrong with him/her.” Yes, it’s frustrating, but through time you both figure out what your baby likes, what works for them, and what doesn’t.

Now fathers, let me put you on some game that will not only help de-stress the mother of your child, but also make them love you forever…

The first few nights with your newborn, all they will want is the breast milk of the mother. That will be the only thing that will allow them to go back to sleep. Although you cannot supply this necessity, wake up and stay up with the mother until your baby falls back asleep. Yes, it may feel like you are sitting there doing nothing. However, it shows the mother that you are willing to sacrifice your sleep as well — it shows a sense of moral support which she will desperately need. And if you would like to take it a step further, ask the mother to pump milk into bottles that you can store in the refrigerator until night rolls around. That will help on those nights when the mother is beyond exhausted or her breasts are sore from feeding your baby all day; you can tell her to stay asleep while you feed the baby. This will not only take a much-needed load off of mom, but it will also help build an emotional bond between you and your child. They will grow to understand that “not only mommy, but daddy is there when I am in need of something.” It will give you a sense of accomplishment as a father, give the mother a feeling of appreciation, and ultimately give your entire relationship a sense of unity.

It’s not fun to lose sleep with a newborn, but I it does get better each week that goes by. It seems like your baby will never sleep through the night, but little by little they start to figure out the sleeping routine you are desperate for them to follow. Stay strong, help the mother of your child through it, and remind your childless friends to be grateful for the eight hours of sleep they are getting now…because that will all change once they step into parenthood.

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