What Are You Staring At?

I remember when Malcolm and I were on a flight to Belize and this older white male kept staring at us.

I asked Malcolm, “What is he looking at?”

His response was,

“He’s looking at us because you’re white and I’m black.”

Call me naive, but I didn’t believe it.

I was pretty new to this interracial relationship thing, so I wasn’t familiar with people reacting negatively to whom I was dating. But it was solidified when I told my dad I was dating a black man and he told me he couldn’t support it.

This was actually a thing? People were going to judge who I was in love with?

Malcolm was the first man I dated that opened up the car door for me. He wasn’t jealous or easily angered. He is selfless and only has eyes for ME. We knew the moment we met that we shared one thing in common: We loved the Lord.

I have been in plenty of relationships, but that doesn’t matter because he is and always will be the best choice for me.

Why does it matter that we are two different races?

Every relationship requires a lot of work, but when I decided to be in an interracial relationship, people would tell me how much harder it was going to be. To be quite honest, it hasn’t been difficult at all. When Christ is the foundation of your relationship, there’s nothing too big for you to handle. After numerous conversations and observing people’s reactions to the man I married, I have truly seen first hand what it is like to judge people at first sight. It is a cruel world out there. But with all of the staring, the judgement, and the unsolicited advice we have faced, I have wanted to embrace the beauty of our relationship, and it makes me proud to stand next to Malcolm as his wife.

Malcolm and I got engaged 2 months into dating and were married 9 months later. My friends and family thought I was crazy, that everything was happening way too fast. But nothing is too fast when it is on God’s time.

His timing is always perfect. ‍

God has shown me through my marriage and being a parent to my daughter that His plan for my life is far greater than what I could imagine for myself.

Seven months after we got married, Malcolm and I found out we were pregnant. Since then, I have heard a lot of people say “interracial babies are beautiful”. When we were pregnant, we would dream about what Ava Joy was going to be like and what she was going to look like.

One day I asked Malcolm,

“When our daughter is filling out paperwork is she going to check the box that says White or African American?”

This conversation led to how there is a possibility she is going to get picked on growing up because she is “in between.”‍

As a teacher, I see first hand how mean kids can be. Their comments have the ability to rip you to pieces. But what happened to “interracial babies are beautiful”?

Why all of a sudden do I have to worry about my child being picked on? And why one day is my child going to ask me “mommy why are you white and daddy is black?” Who is going to bring that to her attention and make it seem as if it is a bad thing or wrong or different? Having an interracial family is not out of the ordinary now.

I loved being pregnant.

I had nothing to do with creating my daughter. God’s hands were in my womb molding and forming my daughter (Psalms 139:13-16). I had nothing to do with how she was going to turn out. God created her, and He made her perfect. I truly believe that God picked Malcolm and I specifically to raise Ava. He is not only the foundation of our marriage, but He is the frontrunner in our decisions as parents. It is because of Him that we are going to pour love into our daughter and make sure that she is strong, confident, and able to withstand the imperfections of this world.

If you would have told me growing up that I was going to have a beautiful interracial family, I would have told you that you are crazy. If I chose how my life was going to turn out, it would be nowhere close to how amazing it is now. It came down to one decision that Malcolm and I made when we were dating. One decision that we have gone back to in the best times and the most difficult times.

We have made God the center of our marriage (Luke 6:47-49). Because of this, we have been able to stand firm in our faith when life is tough and have been able to see the beauty of His work in our mixed family.

#MayForMothers

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**If you would like to read Taryn's husband Malcom's post on The Fatherhood Blog, click the link below.**

Story: WinYourWife